I'm already behind schedule and it's only the third month, woe is me, but I digress. Since the last entry peculiar events had unfolded. My high times wrought my computer as I spilled water on my desk, being out of my state of mind to not be a complete idiot, I assumed it would be fine instead of turning off my computer and taking the safe and not sorry route. But alas, I wiped it up and kept going, come to find out fifteen minutes later that my PC shut down, water had seeped into my case and killed my graphics card (rip 760). And the cherry on top was the fact that my backup was all the way back at September 2014... GG. The 960 series is definitely an upgrade though, so I guess it's a good investment since I needed to jump back into it. This set me back not just financially but mentally, it made me access myself once again, I went into grind mode and busted out my insurance training half-way complete and I actually learned a couple of songs. I've realized that my long term goal of streaming into the wee hours of the morning are not going to let me progress in other areas so I need to find a happy medium. This will get me somewhere and I know it, so I will continue chasing the pipe-dream.
Another great part was only interacting with one person for the three weeks. Kinda like isolation together? It was neat, it put a lot of things into perspective, such as people needing you just as much as you need them. Also the fact that spending so much time with someone brings unwarranted feelings. I don't wanna say like or something so juvenile but it's genuinely liking a person and enjoying their presence. I adore stepping into peoples lives because it lets me feel what they feel, I can actually say I try to make the extra effort but that's something I haven't really been doing for the people I care about lately. I suppose I'm in the selfish phase of my adolescence but I think it's probably the best at the moment since I'm thinking long term and the actions done now will pave the way for it.
One thing that is very rare and such an amazing experience is watering the fruits of interaction. Mutual friendships where it's a give and take are so incredibly rare, I have met so many fascinating people because of the Internet but it's only the Internet and that's the melancholy part. I wish it didn't cost so much to see people in other states or countries. I'll get there though, that's a fact.
Anyway, enough about friendship, here in the month of February already. Let's see, I started a YouTube series FINALLY and I think it's going to be the start of great things to come. I believe i'm gonna start other series and try to catch subscribers with daily videos. All it takes is one hour of game-play, chop it up in editing, and bingo, you've got something someone will watch for 30 minutes. It's funny how whenever people said: anyone can do something, it'll just take some time and dedication, I never completely understood. I think I was a very dumb child and teenager. I felt as though I knew everything and then the ages of seventeen through now have been a humbling experience so that I know what I have to do and become for the world. I could be so far ahead of myself right now if I actually stuck to something all these years, like picking up an instrument during my teens. But all we can do now is share the many things we've learned on this ride to children so they don't waste the time they're blessed with.
The plans for February continue! I said I was going to start go to UGC [UGC is bascially the new WNF (these are tournaments, sorry lol) and it's also closer by a margin] starting the 17th but I just found out my speeding ticket hasn't been cleared yet so this fucking insurance company wants me to pay 1,100 for six months versus a much cheaper 800-something.I wrote this at break but I've revised and added but anyway, I actually went today after work and got it sorted out. I'm going to go tomorrow in the morning to talk to them about it. My mom is having surgery on her eyes this coming Monday and I am going to have to keep this house in order and it's going to be damn difficult. It's unfortunate that I'm the only self-aware person who does anything about situations. The next plan was when I went down to UGC I would pick up at the clinic down there because it's soooo cheap. I mean why wouldn't someone slang this beautiful herb to bring in some extra cash because it's so easy to sell. Supply and demand 101 baby.
I am starting to become fed up with this job again, I feel like I'm going to snap and it's not gonna be a pretty sight. Why is it so hard not to bark orders or having to micromanage because no one you deal with is competent. I mean I make thousands of dollars for you every week and I still sit here with nowhere. No progress. No future. I know I'm being complacent because I feel obligated to stay a bit longer but I suppose today is he reminder that it needs to happen now. 2015 is my year, no more bullshit, no more living the life of a slave. I have the soul of a free man, and I will break free of these metaphorical shackles this money-orientated world has placed since birth. I will do it for my family and everyone dear to me. The Age of Philanthropy will be perpetual. Now my lunch is over and the costumer service facade begins again!
