December 08, 2014

It has been approximately one month since my twentieth birthday, and I have to say I have a very genuine charm to my life. As it stands currently I am holding a job for an older couple who owns a shop, I am basically their only worker at this point so I am held to a certain standard of availability. I am currently studying for my insurance license to attempt to better my financial standing and four months have passed. My attempt to save money has been futile due to poor decisions and less than fortunate situations arising. I plan to purchase a car soon, here's to hoping for low APR, but if not, I am prepared to be a slave to the socioeconomic machine.

My first major girlfriend, has been an ex for quite a few years now, but we enjoy each other's company in more than one way. She has finally got a new boyfriend and I am ecstatic for her, I just don't like how the situation was handled. I have currently quit real life interaction and have began my online life. With that has come some very interesting people and situations. Life as an up-and coming streamer has been spectacular. I believe it's the only thing I really take joy in doing. I've made 70 bucks in donations so far and I am thrilled to see progress already. I'm currently at 46 followers and they are all very enjoyable individuals. I plan on doubling or tripling it every month.

The most major thing has unfolded tonight though. My father has began the process of passing away tonight and will probably die before six am. After almost 8 years of being at this shitty rehabilitation center, I am overflown with emotion due to the fact that I can finally close this chapter of my life and begin a new one, one where family is my focus. But then there is the dreaded sadness that has followed me for years. Constantly reminding me that I am a piece of shit human being, I am working to better my situations everyday that I live life but I don't think I'm strong enough to do that currently. I have a "drug problem" involving marijuana, it saddens me that my mother is hurt by it, but it has been getting me through the hard days of work and exercise. I plan on doing them throughout the rest of my life with periodic breaks. It does ruin your short term memory and that is one thing that is a fact. I also just made major decision because I am a "man" in a Hispanic culture, guess I gotta get used to it. I will change this world and I will learn to sing beautifully in honor of my father.



Life is good.