February recap

This month has been full of events and lessons. I've quit a couple of things, but I feel as if my mission is getting clearer because I can focus better. 

I'll look at the calendar to summarize.

It's funny. I said a couple of entries ago that I was going to use this as a guide or reminder to keep me on a trail. But holy shit am I a fickle bitch. I try every day to improve on sticking with things and not waning so much. After I finished reading the last entry, I had a good chuckle to myself. I won't be pursuing the insurance license after all. I spent too much time fucking around, and now it will cost me twenty bucks every month to renew it (it's been renewed twice already). I know that's not a lot, but my dedication and commitment being non-existent makes it a silly endeavor at this point. I still have the discount code, so I think I can always come back to it a couple of years later, starting over for forty bucks while having the six-month period of not renewing.

So that's the first thing I didn't accomplish this month after saying I was going to start selling insurance in March. The second is the bass: I haven't been picking it up, and I think that's due to the time constraints of my schedule. I know that's a horrible excuse, but I can pick it up whenever I want and just continue. I'm not gonna say I'll do it, because then I'll just be lying to myself. That’s the going to be the goal of March: DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO OTHERWISE DON'T OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. I’ve improved so much in that area already, but I know I can be better—sometimes I just say things to say them, and there ends up being absolutely zero action backing it.

With my calendar, I write quantity over quality on the goals I want to accomplish. That's another reaction from my problem. I'm going to do my month of March calendar, and I won't just write what I hope to accomplish. I’ll write what I know I’ll accomplish. One goal is running. I ran one time this month; that’s so bad! I feel so guilty that my baby (dog) has been let down because I’ve been having a rough time with work, on the physical side, and it’s been my workout supplement. That said, I’ll walk her regardless of how I feel. I know it's not as fulfilling as running, but at least she'll expend her energy.

I didn't do Choco Taco Chronicles. I'm not ready to rekindle the relationship with Alfonso. I think I'll compromise my break from smoking prematurely. I feel so empowered not smoking; I'm not sure how long this is going to last, but I want to make a substantial step forward regarding my employment position. Ironic enough, he just got promoted to a manager position in the job he's working at with his father, and he says he needs to hire someone. So this will be the seed that, if watered and nurtured correctly, could become my tree of wealth and ticket out of my peasantry. I've made two important women in my life proud without smoking, but I believe it's okay to smoke—just not too often, I suppose. 

I did a twelve-hour stream, and it was pretty cool. I got the day off during the week because of an incident at work regarding the inspector, causing the store to close down for two days. The spontaneous things that happen in my life just work out so well. It's strange. I played Street Fighter for a loooong time. My friend Chris came over and we money-matched for twenty bucks. I felt confident in my play and knew I was going to take it. It’s not so often that I have much confidence in my play since it blows up in my face usually. Cheers so improving!

I got Dragon Ball Z Xenoverse and I have to say, this game is pretty fucking cool. I’m definitely going to be streaming it quite often. To my surprise the stream has integrated into my life so flawlessly, and I love it. I always hated that saying of you won't work a day in your life if you love your job, but I have to say, it’s definitely true. Gaming is the only thing I've ever loved that brings me happiness; I get to share so many experiences and laughs with people of endless backgrounds. 

I'm particularly happy as of late, and I'm going to do my best to go higher ;)

I ended up staying up after the twelve-hour stream which ended at around five in the morning. I decided to do something about the situation with my driving record. After staying on hold for thirty minutes, I got a guy who wasn't completely useless and gave me all the information I needed. I went to the courthouse after the phone call, and a clerk there said it was going through that day. So I flew to the DMV to get a copy of my record, and even the clerk there said it was clear. 

Here came the happiness and relief. 

I went to AAA and talked to an insurance agent. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing, because he just went over the layout that I got with another agent. In the end, he said it wasn't cleared, because the paper didn't say "dismissed". This was my third attempt, so I wasn’t taking it that well. 

Being okay with shit not working out, I went home and tried to call the agency again. After another thirty minutes on hold, I got this wonderful lady who had the most magnificent stick up her ass. She said my record was clear, and I asked, “Are you shooore, because I just got rejected.” 

“You’re cleared,” she said in an aggravated voice, and then the bitch hung up! Now, I'm not an ill-tempered young man, thankfully, but holy shit did I want to blow a fucking hole into the wall with my fist. I haven’t been that enraged in a long time. The audacity of some people when it's their goddamn job to do these things. Quit your fucking job and find another one if you don't like it, don’t piss in someone’s Kool-Aid over it.

I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen since high school, and I think I'm going to accomplish some things with him. It was so refreshing having a good time with an old friend, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and went in because it was cheap-o Tuesday (fifty-cent wings and sides were around four to five bucks each). While there I actually shared my dream—it was so nice to speak so well about it. I don't have the most concrete road to get there yet, but I know laying the foundation in my mind will be the best thing to do right now. It's such a long term goal that I can afford to take my time to plan things out. I love my situation in life right now because they aren't always going to work out, but I gotta go with it and keep my blinders on and look to the near future.

Recap: don't make so many goals, appreciate the progress, drop to 150lb by the end of March, start lifting in April [gotta get that calendar body ready ;)] 

I want to set a big goal: I’ll get to 300 followers on Twitch by the end of March. I have such a magnificent family starting already, and once I get this bot figured out, it will only propel me further. 

Thank you all for the support, whoever reads this. Ya’ll mean the world to me, and I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am without any of you. Shout-out to the little lady who motivated me to keep going; you've done so much already, and you keep impressing me with your dedication.

PS: NEW UPDATES EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT/MONDAY MORNING XOXO